Access Denied.

It’s official, the U of MN is closed to on-campus classes. From here—until God knows when—all classes will be on line. It appears I am going to be home schooled.

Hello, welcome the the University of Minnesota, Sandberg Campus.

The upside, I will be attending classes in my pajamas. I hope this brings out the Hugh Hefner in me (famous for working in his PJ’s).

“What do we want? Peace!” “When do we want it?
When the U closes down and we all get extra credit!”

Apparently, I’m in hot water. This isn’t the first time the school has shut down while I was attending. Back in 1971, during the height of the Viet Nam war, the school was a hot bed of sit-ins, walk-outs, marches and bombings on campus. Add that to smoking bad reefer, cheap beer, The Rolling Stones—all in all—a pretty fun time.

This leads me to POL SCI where we look at theories and hypothesis. For instance: If Thom Sandberg attends the U of MN, it will close (hey, it’s happened twice). So our independent variable would be, yours truly, attending school; we have no control over that. The dependent variable is what happens. It is like, the more you sleep the better rested you are. Sleep: independent variable, better rested: dependent variable. This could be a completely casual relationship, that is probabilistic, it is more than likely, simply a confounding variable.

Do you see what happens when you attempt to apply a college education to real life? It leads to introspection, Chardonnay and a summons to the Dean’s office. Luckily I was represented by 1-800-ASK GARY so I’m pretty much in the clear. I am requested to stop carrying my “PIG’S SUCK” poster and wearing a Nehru jacket.